May I hold your hand?
GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy.
GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!
BOY : You love me...
GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??
GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest.
BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple
GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever.
BOY : Don't you ever want to improve??
BOY : I love you and I could die for you!
GIRL : How soon??
BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you!
GIRL : Yes, but would you stay there??
SHARON : Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning
TRACY : I did once. He'd forgotten to take the
cigarette out of his mouth.
MAN : You remind me of the sea.
WOMAN : Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?
MAN : NO, because you make me sick.
WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear
and comes out of the other.
HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It goes in both
ears and comes out of the mouth.
MARY : John says I'm pretty. Andrew says I'm ugly.What
do u think,
PETER : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.
1) Girlfriend : "...And are you sure you love me and
no one else ?"
Boyfriend : "Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again
2) Teacher : "Which is more important to us, the sun
or the moon?"
Pupil : "The moon".
Teacher : "Why?"
Pupil : "The moon gives us light at night when we need
it but the sun gives us light only in the day time
when we don't need it".
3) Teacher : "What do you call a person who keeps on
talking when people are no longer interested?"
Pupil : "A teacher".
4) Waiter : "Would you like your coffee black?"
Customer : "What other colors do you have?"
5) My father is so old that when he was in school,
history was called current affairs.
6) Teacher : "Sam, you talk a lot !"
Sam : "It's a family tradition".
Teacher : "What do you mean?"
Sam : "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father
is a teacher".
Teacher : "What about your mother?"
Sam : "She's a woman".
7) Tom : "How should I convey the news to my father
that I've failed?"
David: "You just send a telegram: Result declared,
past year's performance repeated".
8) Teacher : "Now, children, if I saw a man beating a
donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be
Student : "Brotherly love".
9) Teacher : "Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say
prayers before eating?"
Sam : "No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good
10) Patient : "What are the chances of my recovering
Doctor : "One hundred percent. Medical records show
that nine out of ten people die of the disease you
have. Yours is the tenth case I've treated. The others
11) Teacher : " Can anybody give an example of
One Student : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married
on the same day and at the same time."
12) Teacher : " George Washington not only chopped
down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it.
Now do you know why his father didn't punish him ?"
One Student: " Because George still had the axe in is hand."